I am dying to write this but wanting no one to read it. Hopeless, uh? I just want to let loose of the disappointment plus, er, pain. Writing it down, I know, will help a lot.
Comparing yourself to anyone on earth is never a good thing. I believe that everyone is distinct to anyone else. People have different character, attitude, way of thinking, and even experiences, just like the lines God have drawn to our palms. We all have one common denominator, our uniqueness.
I am a person who thinks this way. I believe that I am different to anybody else. I don’t claim being extraordinary in a special way, it is just that I am, er, weird. Ever since, I know I am like no other kid. I think and act different from the rest of the crowd, maybe that’s why people don’t always like me. Not doing the usual stuff, not wearing the trend, not believing what others believe in, that is me, not going with the flow, instead going against the current. I don’t try hard to be stubborn, and I don’t do it just to be cool. I just don’t let other people influence me on how I will think, act, and react.
So in everything I do, I always try hard to give my best, not to impress, but for I won’t regret not doing the best that I could. That is the point, when people give their best; they tend to expect what to receive. Well, I did. That is the problem, I expected a lot. Ugh. I wonder, what’s wrong with expectation, uh? I just did not expect a thing from marvel; I worked hard to earn it. I did not wait for the fruit to fall into my hands; I had wounds in climbing the tree. I gave my best and I got less. Actually, I don’t know what has hurt me, my over-the-head-expectation I didn’t get [ugh. I was not asking for too much, just enough to what I deserve. Duh?] Or the cruelty of unfairness. Maybe, both, I am hurt, I can’t think straight.
I don’t say I deserve it more than anyone else. I deserve it over any other thing. I may not be better than any one but I am certain that I tried to be the best.. of me. Still, I am thinking if my efforts were wasted, of course not. Getting it, maybe, was my priority and objective but having done something good because of it was the best consolation. ‘Tis maybe funny but I think the line, ‘I did my best but I guess my best wasn’t good enough,’ best suits my feelings at the moment.
I may not get what I wanted, God knows perfectly what best means, and He will give it to me, soon.
Tears won’t stop kissing my cheeks.
Cry, sleep and smile. Don’t forget to show the cute dimples.
God bless our weary hearts!